In his new TV Land show The Jim Gaffigan Show, Gaffigan plays a version of himself. That is, he plays a stand-up comedian raising five kids in a small two bedroom New York City apartment. But how autobiographical is it actually? "I'm better looking in real life," Gaffigan told Ophira Eisenberg on stage at The Bell House in Brooklyn. Joining him was his wife Jeannie, who is also a writer and executive producer on the show.
"We do have five kids," Jeannie Gaffigan said. "And we do live in Manhattan, and we definitely did the two bedroom apartment [with them]."
One of the things the Gaffigans love so much about their current show is the freedom they have to write their stories how they want to. "I played a character named Jim Gaffigan on a show 15 years ago, and I didn't have control over what I said," Jim Gaffigan told Eisenberg. "I'd pitch lines, and the writers and the network would say, 'I don't know if [you'd] say that.'"
For their VIP game, the Gaffigans played AMA's version of the "Newlywed Game" — only in this iteration, couples have to be married over a decade with five kids. We asked Jeannie Gaffigan to guess how Jim answered a series of soul-searching questions (for instance, "Which Disney princess are you most attracted to?").
Finally, Eisenberg quizzed Jim Gaffigan about junk foods that give men less-than-desireable bodies. ("I feel like for every David Beckham, there's a lot of Dad Bods," he joked.)
Despite his legendary fast food knowledge, Jim Gaffigan did not get a perfect score. "I love how people are disappointed," he joked when the audience groaned. "They're like, 'You know what? This guy's a charade! He only pretends to eat horribly.'"
Highlights:
Jim, In Praise of Jeannie
"Jeannie is a very attractive woman. She's very thin, and I know I look like I have two wives and I ate one of them."
Jim, on which kids he's a giant pushover with
"When you have a little girl, as a parent you think, 'I should probably save for med school.' And when you have a little boy, you think, 'There's going to be a couple rounds of rehab.'"
Jim, on his book about junk food
My wife wanted me to add a disclaimer to my book that said "No one should eat like this." There are people who think I'm a proponent of unhealthy eating. I'm like the opposite of Michelle Obama.
Heard in Jim Gaffigan: The Dad Bod Diet
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Transcript
OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:
You're listening to ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR and WNYC. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and with me are the creators of "The Jim Gaffigan Show," Jim and Jeannie Gaffigan.
(APPLAUSE)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Thank you.
EISENBERG: Congratulations on the new show on TV Land.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Thank you, thank you.
EISENBERG: Now, it is autobiographical about your lives raising five kids in a small two-bedroom apartment in New York.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Yes.
EISENBERG: How autobiographical is it actually?
JIM GAFFIGAN: Well, I - I'm better looking in real life.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: But I would say all the stories that Jeannie and I came up with were inspired from things that happened to us. I mean, we are parents, but it's not "Full House," you know? I don't want people to think, like, they have five kids.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Yeah, we do have five kids and we do, you know, live in Manhattan, and we definitely did the two-bedroom apartment with the five kids.
EISENBERG: How close is the apartment to the actual apartment that you lived in?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: It's an exact replica.
EISENBERG: Are you serious?
JIM GAFFIGAN: Yes.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Yeah, so we - like, my mother, who has stayed in our apartment many times, asked me how we got all those cameras up to our apartment. So it was - literally, designers and architects came over and measured the entire apartment and then rebuilt it on a soundstage.
EISENBERG: That's pretty incredible.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: So yeah, I can tell everyone's very excited about that.
EISENBERG: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: But it is - like, what Jim was saying is that it's not like "The Cosby Show" or something. It's like - the kids are little, so it's mostly about us dealing with parenting.
JIM GAFFIGAN: They're essentially props.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: I read somewhere that you went with TV Land because they gave you ultimate creative control.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Yeah.
EISENBERG: What did other networks try to do to your life to change it from...
JIM GAFFIGAN: They're evil. They're Satan.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: Well, it's very interesting. Look, I played a character named Jim Gaffigan on a show 15 years ago, and I didn't have control over what I said. And I would pitch lines and the writers and the network would be like, I don't know if he'd say that.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: So...
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Let the writers handle this.
JIM GAFFIGAN: So Jeannie and I had gone through this process with a bunch of - you know, through the network model. And when we were presented an opportunity to go to TV Land, we said we'd be happy to do it, but we want the authority to do the show that we want. We're not going to do "Hot In Cleveland." We're going to do - and not that there's anything wrong with "Hot In Cleveland." I mean, there are things wrong with it.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: But we wanted to do a show that Jeannie and I wanted to do. And they were like, go ahead. Do what you want.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: And we'll pay for it.
EISENBERG: Yeah.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: As in, they will pay for it.
JIM GAFFIGAN: It was financial negligence on their part, really.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Really, they gave us a lot of money to do this show and just gave it to us.
EISENBERG: I mean, what's one thing - do you want a larger writing staff? Do you want a larger production staff? Like, you say you're doing every thing yourself.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Well, he just doesn't want that.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Yeah.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Like, he just doesn't want that. Like, I'm like, you know, a writing staff might help. And he's like, no. We have to be - because here's the thing...
JIM GAFFIGAN: Now I feel like we're in marriage counseling.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: We are.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Wait, I thought - I thought that's what this was.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Ophira, she's wrong.
EISENBERG: How long have you been married?
JIM GAFFIGAN: I don't know.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Eleven years.
EISENBERG: Eleven years.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Yeah.
EISENBERG: Jeannie, how well would you say you know your husband, Jim?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: How well?
EISENBERG: How well?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: You know, probably really well.
JIM GAFFIGAN: I mean, can I just say, before we get into this...
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: ...That Jeannie - you know, Jeannie is an amazing - she's a very attractive woman, and she's very thin. And I know I look like I had two wives and I ate one of them.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: But I want to be clear here that she - she's my partner in everything. You know, we do everything together. She's my writing partner. She's intelligent. She's creative.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Here it comes.
JIM GAFFIGAN: I can't read your handwriting. But, most importantly, whatever you take away from this, understand that she is an amazing first wife.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: There you go.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: And I want you all to know that. I'm sorry to interrupt.
EISENBERG: Jeannie, according to you, who wears the pants in this relationship?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Definitely Jim, definitely Jim.
JIM GAFFIGAN: And that is not sexism, all right? That is simply because I'm the man.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: I'm very bossy. I definitely am, but final decision...
JIM GAFFIGAN: She's being nice. I'm terrified of this person.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: And I'm - but listen - but listen, he won't let me drive when he's in the car.
JIM GAFFIGAN: I want - and that - I don't want to die.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: This is what it is.
JIM GAFFIGAN: All right, she can drive my kids around.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: That's fine.
JIM GAFFIGAN: I don't care about that.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: That's fine.
EISENBERG: Jim, we're going to subject you to your own ASK ME ANOTHER Challenge a little later in the show.
JIM GAFFIGAN: OK.
EISENBERG: But right now, we are going to give Jeannie a little test here.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Great.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Oh.
EISENBERG: Are you ready?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Oh, yeah.
JIM GAFFIGAN: It's not a pregnancy test.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Hopefully not. As long as it doesn't have the January part. I got the beginning, but...
EISENBERG: Oh, yeah.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: ...Yeah, yeah. That was not - I didn't follow that.
EISENBERG: This is actually our version of "The Newlywed Game," except it's only for couples who have been married over a decade and have five kids. It's very specialized.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Oh, very good.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Lucky for me.
EISENBERG: So we've asked Jim, before the show, a series of soul-searching...
JIM GAFFIGAN: She doesn't know.
EISENBERG: ...Questions.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Oh, come on.
EISENBERG: And all you have to do, Jeannie, is guess how Jim answered thEse questions.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Oh, no. OK.
EISENBERG: For example, if we asked Jim what his favorite Hot Pocket filling is...
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: ...Is it hickory ham and cheddar or the signature pepperoni pizza? What do you think Jim would say?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: You're asking me a Hot Pocket question.
EISENBERG: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: He answered a Hot Pocket question.
EISENBERG: No, he didn't, but I'm just using this as an example - a dry run.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Oh, OK. Oh, ham and cheese.
EISENBERG: And, Jim, how would you answer that?
JIM GAFFIGAN: I would say I haven't had a Hot Pocket in 20 years.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: Yeah.
JIM GAFFIGAN: But ham and cheese is right.
EISENBERG: All right, there you go.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: Now, Jeannie, if you get enough right, Jim has offered to babysit the kids for a year and give you $100 million.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: But can I drive?
EISENBERG: (Laughter) Yeah.
JIM GAFFIGAN: No.
EISENBERG: According to Jim, which of you is a bigger pushover when it comes to your kids, Jeannie?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Me.
JIM GAFFIGAN: And that's - by the way, that's 'cause she has compassion.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: I - you know, there's too many of them.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: But that's according to Jim.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Yes.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: That was the important part of that question.
EISENBERG: Right.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: The answer would be me.
EISENBERG: According to you...
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: It's Jim.
EISENBERG: He's the bigger pushover?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: He is, but according to Jim, it's me. I know that.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Well, it depends. Look, and, you know, again - look, little girls are different from little boys, and allow me to explain before you start killing me.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: When you have a little girl, they're angelic, and they're intelligent. And little boys are monsters.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: So when you have a little girl, as a parent you think, I should probably save for med school. And when you have a little boy you think, there's going to be a couple rounds of rehab.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: So I am pretty strict with the boys, and maybe I'm a little bit of a pushover with the girls.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: But the answer was, according to Jim, I'm the bigger pushover. Is that correct? Or do I find out at the end?
EISENBERG: Yeah, you got it right, absolutely.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Thank you.
(APPLAUSE)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Thank you very much.
EISENBERG: I love that you brought it back to - great, Jim, that's very good. Did I get the answer right?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Yeah, I just want to know.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: That's all I'm in here for...
EISENBERG: I'm playing a game here.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: ...Is the points and the million dollars - hundred million.
EISENBERG: Which Disney princess did Jim say he was the most attracted to?
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: First of all - ick.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Second of all, was it Belle?
EISENBERG: Belle.
JIM GAFFIGAN: You know...
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Oh, wait a minute.
JIM GAFFIGAN: You know Belle's a princess, right?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: The real Jim or the creepy Jim?
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Was it Jasmine?
JIM GAFFIGAN: Can I say something?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: I bet it was Jasmine.
JIM GAFFIGAN: I do not...
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Like, Jim has a little bit of, like, the Jasmine thing.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Can I say something?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: You know what I'm saying?
JIM GAFFIGAN: I see the Disney princesses as someone's daughter, someone's sister. Yeah, it is a creepy question, all right?
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: Yes. And yes, he did answer Jasmine.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Hello.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: Which little habit of Jim's did he say annoyed you the most?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Oh, my God, there's so many choices.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: Well, you know, that's...
EISENBERG: I don't get that impression.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: It would be, A - gum disposal...
EISENBERG: Whoa.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: ...Or lack thereof gum disposal, or his eating habits. It's either gum disposal or eating habits.
EISENBERG: And when you say eating habits, can you elaborate on that a little bit?
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Unhealthy choices in eating...
EISENBERG: OK.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: ...All the time.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: And I'm not a nag. I just think it's not, you know, safe.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Hey, I agree with you.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: You know, I'll tell you something. Both...
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: I mean, once you go with three...
JIM GAFFIGAN: Both of these topics...
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: ...Cheeseburgers in one day, it's time...
JIM GAFFIGAN: I think Jonathan Coulton said verbal people - I mean, the mouth is a very important thing for words, articulation, expressing your feelings and also for, more importantly, eating. And I think that's an important factor.
EISENBERG: Yeah, he did say the constant eating annoys you the very most.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: OK. So you gave me the answer. Do I still - does It still count?
JIM GAFFIGAN: By the way, can I...
EISENBERG: Yeah, it still counts. I mean, I think...
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Because gum is also with the mouth, so it's also - but Jim also...
JIM GAFFIGAN: I'm an athlete.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: ...Just so you know, in case - just - he's warming up for eating with the gum.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Can I...
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: It's like he's working out for eating.
EISENBERG: (Laughter) That's his training for eating.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Yeah, he's training.
EISENBERG: So I feel like this is going to work out really in your favor 'cause you only have one question left.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Great.
EISENBERG: If Jim hadn't gone into comedy, what did he say he would be doing for a living?
JIM GAFFIGAN: (Laughter) I wonder what you're going to answer here...
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: ...Because there...
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Why are you answering my question?
EISENBERG: Yeah.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Isn't it for me? Do you want to answer the question?
JIM GAFFIGAN: I don't know. This is a conversation. This isn't...
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Oh, it is?
JIM GAFFIGAN: ...A driver's test.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: OK.
EISENBERG: What do you think he said he would do if he couldn't do comedy, or if he decided not to go into it?
JIM GAFFIGAN: (Laughter) I don't know. I don't know if I should give you a hint or not.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: No, that's cheating. I think that if he didn't go into comedy, he would be a farmer.
JIM GAFFIGAN: I don't like being outside.
(LAUGHTER)
JIM GAFFIGAN: But the thing - I think there is something appealing about farming.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Like, he really wanted to be a farmer.
JIM GAFFIGAN: I did.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Really wanted to be a farmer.
EISENBERG: Well, if you love food, why wouldn't you want to make it so you could constantly have it?
JIM GAFFIGAN: Yeah, but there's also - you're - you know, there's a creative aspect to it.
EISENBERG: Sure.
JIM GAFFIGAN: And there's no people. That's appealing, too.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Well, I do have to say that we got this little plot, and we were like, let's grow something. And so I got, like, some tomato plants and whatever and Jim got, like, popcorn. And he was like, we're going to make - we're going to plant corn. And I was like, please, you can't just put popcorn in the thing. And the corn grew, like, this tall.
EISENBERG: Oh, my God.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: And everything else died. And I was like, how did you? He goes, I wanted to be a farmer.
(LAUGHTER)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: And he's like, I know how to grow corn.
EISENBERG: That is what he said, yeah.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: And I was like, that's awesome.
JIM GAFFIGAN: And there's also...
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Is that what he said?
EISENBERG: That is what he said.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Are you kidding?
JIM GAFFIGAN: That's what I said. That's what I said.
(APPLAUSE)
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: I'm driving already, baby.
JIM GAFFIGAN: There you go.
EISENBERG: Yeah, you did it. Congratulations, Jeannie, you won the game.
JEANNIE GAFFIGAN: Thank you.
EISENBERG: Perfect score.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: Thank you so much, Jeannie. And, Jim, we will see you later in the show for your own challenge. How about a huge hand for Jeannie Gaffigan and Jim Gaffigan?
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: Whether you live in a tiny New York City apartment or on a Texas ranch, get out of your house and come see us live. You can even be a contestant on our show. Just go to amatickets.org. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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