Men not required to hear sexual violence speaker's talk that was mandatory for sorority members

A national speaker on sexual violence on college campuses spoke recently to women at Wake Forest University. 

Bonny Shade spoke before a packed auditorium to members of eight sorority chapters. 

During her speech, Shade shared a raw account of her own experience with sexual violence. She says she was assaulted by a close friend after a party. She told almost no one for years after the incident.  Her story silenced the room. 

“The silence that you hear right now … that’s all I could hold on to and pray for that moment to be over,” said Shade.

Shade said the assault changed her.

"I buried it so deep and I coped in insanely negative ways," she says. "I drank almost every single night of the week. I did drugs I never thought I'd try. I hooked up just to hook up with them. But from the outside, you would think I was having a typical phenomenal college experience." 

Shade shared ways that women can promote sex positivity among their peers and start uncomfortable conversations that must be had.

This initiative was a step in the right direction, says sorority member Kate Hafer, but she is skeptical that these types of conversations can actually lead to tangible change. 

“I would really like to see matched efforts across the entire fraternity and sorority life, to really try to put our best foot forward in making change,” she says.

Hafer's comment reflected a concern that many attendees shared. Sorority members were required to attend this speech. Fraternity members were not.

In an email, Emory Horton, president of the Interfraternity Council, said there are two confirmed events at the end of October featuring speakers on consent and sexual health awareness. He said all fraternity chapters are “highly recommended” to attend.

In 2021, President Susan Wente commissioned a Campus Climate Survey around sexual misconduct. The results found that three-quarters of undergraduate women and over half of undergraduate men have experienced an incident of sexual misconduct during their time at Wake Forest.