Limericks

Limericks

1:01pm Oct 03, 2015

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Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and get tickets to our December show in Los Angeles, Calif., at the Dolby Theater, just like the Oscars. Also be sure to check out our sister podcast, "How To Do Everything." This week's episode is only 20 minutes long. That's so much shorter than "Serial," and they'll actually give you an answer. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

ALISHA LACKY: Hi, this is Alisha calling from Charlotte, N.C.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Hey, how are things in Charlotte?

LACKY: They're good. It's been raining a lot, but it's drying up I think.

SAGAL: That's good. I'm glad to hear that. Now, Charlotte, we've been there a few times, home to NASCAR. Are you not excited about NASCAR?

LACKY: Not really, no.

SAGAL: No, it's not your thing. So, what, do they let people who don't care about NASCAR live in Charlotte?

LACKY: They do.

SAGAL: Well, that's good. Well, Alisha, welcome to the show. We are delighted to talk to you. Bill Kurtis is going to read three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to play?

LACKY: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: If there's one thing that hi-tech can teach, it's that death won't inhibit my reach. Though I'm set to be buried, my words won't be hurried. I'm dead, but I'm giving the...

LACKY: Speech.

SAGAL: Yes, the speech, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A company called Aim Holographic's is offering people the chance to make their own holographic eulogies. This is really true. You know, like Tupac did, Coachella, right? Now you can speak to all your friends and family members without fear of being interrupted at long last 'cause you're dead. You're just a hologram. You can tell people what you really think right to their faces and make an already somber occasion freaky and deeply unsettling. Would you guys do this?

ROY BLOUNT JR.: I wouldn't do that. No, I would be too busy in the afterlife. I would be up there with - having a good time with the angels. And I would look back down on the rest of it - the kind of life I used to live - and think, how did I get up here?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: My career is not due to bum luck. It's because I'm no slovenly schmuck. As you see, I'm well-dressed, with my pants neatly pressed, and my shirts, I consistently...

LACKY: Tuck.

SAGAL: Right, tuck.

KURTIS: Oh, boy.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You knew that. If you want to succeed in life, tuck your shirt in, you slob. New research by Fruit of the Loom, the NASA of underpants science, according to that, men who tuck in their shirts are 60 percent happier at work, make more money and report having more dates. So your theory that women appreciate the untucked shirt because it saves time later...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Is not backed up by the data. Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: My workout pants fit really snug. So tight that my heart feels a tug. So warmly I'm held that emotions will swell. I feel like I'm getting a...

LACKY: Hug.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes, you remember Lululemon? They're the ones who caused by making yoga pants that gave everybody a view of your butt. Well, they're back with new pants that give your butt a hug. Lululemon - I would like to say Lulu-mon (ph), which is the Jamaican company. But Lululemon says their new pants are designed to give you an emotional boost and feel like a, quote, "comfortable embrace from a close friend," if you have a close friend who likes to grab you by the butt and never, ever let go.

ALONZO BODDEN: So what is creepier? A hologram at your funeral or your yoga pants hugging you?

SAGAL: How about a hologram of you at your funeral with your hugging pants on? I didn't need any of you. I had my pants.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Alisha do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Three and 0.

SAGAL: Well done, Alisha. Thank you so much.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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