Everyone loves food, so naturally, many English idioms involve edible delicacies. We've put a literal spin on some of these yummy sayings — what's "a lazy tuber sprouting on the upholstered piece of furniture intended to seat multiple people"?

Heard in Jim Gaffigan: The Dad Bod Diet

Copyright 2015 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Our next game is called Tasty Sayings. Let's say hello to our contestants Rachel Lodi and Josh Walfish.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Rachel, is there any food that you can't eat or has been ruined for you once you found out what - how it's prepared or how it's sourced or what's in it?

RACHEL LODI: Well, I'm pretty sure I can't eat scallops.

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah? Why? What's wrong with scallops?

LODI: Well, my mom says I'm not allergic, but every time I eat them, I throw up and get hives, so I stay away from them.

EISENBERG: Your mom sounds mean.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I'm just saying.

LODI: I think she just wanted me to finish my dinner that night. And ever since I've stayed away.

EISENBERG: Right. You're sneezing - she's like, well, it's not the cat, keeping the cat. Josh, how about you - any food?

JOSH WALFISH: It's funny you mention cats 'cause there's a Chinese...

EISENBERG: Cat food.

WALFISH: No, there's a Chinese restaurant in my hometown that I can't go to anymore because I read a newspaper article that they were found using cat.

EISENBERG: No way.

WALFISH: I swear.

EISENBERG: Really?

WALFISH: Yeah.

EISENBERG: And they're still in operation.

WALFISH: No, they're not in operation anymore, thank God, but...

EISENBERG: After the - how long after the article came out?

WALFISH: Probably within four or five months - we were seeing...

EISENBERG: A few people are like, it's fine by me.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: A little soy sauce - delish.

JONATHAN COULTON, HOST:

The wheels of justice sometimes turn very slowly.

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

COULTON: A lot of common sayings involve food. And here is why - it's because you put food in the same place that words come out.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: And later, before this airs, we will replace that with an actual joke.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: In the meantime, we are going to rephrase some food idioms, and you have to give us the common saying, all right? Puzzle guru Art Chung, how about an example?

ART CHUNG, BYLINE: So if we said, I'm a lazy tuber sprouting on the upholstered piece of furniture intended to seat multiple people, the phrase we're looking for is couch potato.

COULTON: Make sense - wow, that unsettled you guys more than I thought it would. The winner will move on to our final round. Are you ready? OK. Making money is easy on this savory sauce transportation. Savory sauce transportation, making money.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Keep on riding it because - go ahead and ride that savory sauce transportation because you're making money, and you don't want it to stop - maybe it's Thanksgiving.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Oh, yes, Rachel?

LODI: Gravy.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: We're looking for the entire phrase making money is easy on this...

LODI: On the...

COULTON: Go ahead.

LODI: On the gravy train.

COULTON: Gravy train.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Getting the day off was a bonus like the sweet glaze on a flour-based baked good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Josh.

WALFISH: Icing on the cake.

COULTON: Icing on the cake is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: This fog is as dense as a viscous liquid with a spherical, green legume as the primary ingredient.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Josh.

WALFISH: Fog as thick as pea soup.

COULTON: Thick as pea soup is what we're looking for, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: You're a defective, oval object laid by a female bird.

WALFISH: Things laid by a bird.

COULTON: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Rachel.

LODI: Egg.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: A bird does lay an egg. You are technically correct about that. That is not what we're looking for. Just because I like you, Rachel, I'm going to give it to you again. You're a defective, oval object laid by a female bird.

LODI: Bad egg.

COULTON: Bad egg, yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: This Internet connection is as speedy as a byproduct of sugar traveling during the first month of the year - oh, boy.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Josh.

WALFISH: Slow as molasses in January.

COULTON: Yes, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: These honor students are the thick, fatty liquid at the top of the harvest.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Josh.

WALFISH: Cream of the crop.

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: You will all be relieved to hear this is the last clue.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: You are a dense, edible kernel that requires a great deal of effort to access.

CHUNG: You might be allergic to these dense, edible kernels. I am.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Rachel.

LODI: I buzzed in early.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Thank you for being honest. Do you have an answer that you'd like to give now that you have buzzed in?

LODI: Scallops.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: That's a fantastic callback, but the incorrect response. Josh, do you know the answer?

WALFISH: I have no idea.

COULTON: What were looking for was a tough nut to crack. Yeah, boo. Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

CHUNG: Well, that was a tough game to crack, but Josh was our winner. Congratulations, you'll be moving on.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Coming up, we'll find out how Jim Gaffigan prepared for his role as Jim Gaffigan in "The Jim Gaffigan Show," so stick around. I'm Ophira Eisenberg from NPR.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

300x250 Ad

300x250 Ad

Support quality journalism, like the story above, with your gift right now.

Donate