11:47am Aug 08, 2015

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Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website - that's You can find out there about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our first ever show in Des Moines, Iowa. And be sure to check out the latest How To Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian tell you how to get the most out of your crackers and also ruin everyone's ice - if that's something you've wanted to do to people.


SAGAL: If you're malicious, but a little shy, that's a way to start.


SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.


SAGAL: Hello. Who's this?

WOODWARD: This is Dave Woodward in Pensacola, Fla.

SAGAL: Pensacola? I've never been there. What is Pensacola like?

WOODWARD: Well, Pensacola is the oldest community in the country.

SAGAL: Is it, really?

WOODWARD: Yes. We've got the most beautiful white beaches, the best looking women and the most attractive men.


SAGAL: Well, that sounds pretty good right there.

MAZ JOBRANI: And very humble.


WOODWARD: That too, yes, that too.


SAGAL: Well, Dave, welcome to our show. You're going to play the Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill Kuritis right here is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. You ready to play?

WOODWARD: I am indeed.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: While Beijing's not a place that it snows in, the Winter Games we are exposing. The hit for our show will not say let it go, but it sounds like the big hit from...

WOODWARD: "Frozen?"

SAGAL: Yes, "Frozen."

KURTIS: Yes, "Frozen."


SAGAL: Very good.


KURTIS: And it never freezes in Pensacola.

SAGAL: The 2022 Winter Olympics will take place in Beijing. And there's already controversy over the game's new theme song. It is obviously a rip-off of "Let It Go," the big hit from "Frozen." It turns out the movie "Frozen" was a huge hit in China. It was the most-watched film by children there last year, second only to the workplace orientation video at the Apple factory.


SAGAL: Which is great because it's narrated by the little snowman from "Frozen." The kids love it.


SAGAL: All right, here we go. Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Veggie water is great for the pair of us. In the bathroom, the world grows aware of us. We fill water crocks with green woody stalks. Our water is made with.

WOODWARD: I'm blank.



SAGAL: It's asparagus, of course.

WOODWARD: Asparagus.

SAGAL: Asparagus. Whole Foods - you know them - they know their customers well. That's why they thought they could get away with selling a $6 bottle of asparagus water. Now, as an NPR listener, you're probably saying that's a good price for asparagus water.


SAGAL: I've got to get down there. Turns out, it's just water - just a jar of water - with three stalks of asparagus in it. Photos of the bottled water were posted online. People got mad at the blatant rip-off and Whole Foods' security was forced to quell rioters with roasted red pepper spray.


ALONZO BODDEN: But what did they think - what did they think asparagus water was?

SAGAL: Well, I mean, they - that's the thing, somebody took a picture at a Whole Foods. But they had just basically put three stalks of asparagus and some water and said asparagus water - $6. And people thought even for Whole Foods, that was ridiculous.

BODDEN: Really?

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODDEN: But lemon water is, like, water with lemon in it.

SAGAL: Yeah.


BODDEN: Right?

SAGAL: Well, that's fine.


SAGAL: Alonzo, clearly, you don't understand white people.


BODDEN: Just truly a fascinating - I've got some - I'm going to make some money here. I would have charged them 20 bucks. I would have put four stalks of asparagus in it.


SAGAL: All right, here is your last limerick. If you get this one, you'll win.

KURTIS: The Olympic Committee just quizzed me about plastic discs I throw whizzly to their field and their track, they won't add hacky sack, but they're looking at Ultimate...

WOODWARD: Frisbee?

KURTIS: Frisbee it is.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.


SAGAL: Frisbee.


SAGAL: This week, the International Olympics Committee officially recognized Ultimate Frisbee as a sport. It's pretty easy to recognize, just look for a bunch of sweaty, white guys with dreadlocks. Either it's Ultimate Frisbee or some hobos are fighting over a frozen pizza.


SAGAL: The IOC's endorsement, the sport takes one step closer to being an official Olympic event like trampoline or Bob Costas Synchronized Pink Eye.


BODDEN: I bet you could get asparagus water to sponsor Ultimate Frisbee.

SAGAL: I bet you could.


BODDEN: We don't need Frisbee, we already have discus. I think they should have somebody try to catch it.


JOBRANI: There you go.

BODDEN: Now, I'd pay to watch that.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Dave do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got two right, 2 out of 3.

SAGAL: Well done.


SAGAL: Thanks, Dave, for playing.

WOODWARD: Enjoyed it. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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