Limericks

Limericks

11:59am Dec 13, 2014

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Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924, or you can click the contact us link on our website which is waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. And you can check out the latest How to do Everything podcast. This week, Mike and Ian present laser hair removal live.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

LISA ROSINSKY: Hi, Peter Sagal. This is Lisa Rosinsky.

SAGAL: Hi, Lisa Rosinsky. How are you?

ROSINSKY: I'm great.

SAGAL: Where are you coming from?

ROSINSKY: From Honesdale, Pennsylvania.

SAGAL: Where's Honesdale?

ROSINSKY: It is in the Poconos about an hour north of Scranton.

SAGAL: OK. That's exciting. And what do you do there?

ROSINSKY: I work at Highlights for Children.

SAGAL: You word at Highlights for Children?

(APPLAUSE)

SHELBY FERO: The magazine?

CHARLIE PIERCE: Awesome.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I still read Highlights because I find the puzzles very easy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to WAIT WAIT DON'T TELL ME, Lisa. Bill Kurtis is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in the last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: We Vikings set sail and risk lives. We're packing our clubs and our knives. When we take over villages, the whole family pillages because we also are bringing our...

ROSINSKY: Wives.

SAGAL: Yes, wives.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROSINSKY: Yay.

SAGAL: The standard view of Vikings, of your average Viking, is the idea of a giant bearded man pillaging villages. But new research indicates many Viking Raiders brought along their wives and even their children. Less a Viking raid, more a Viking cruise.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know many Vikings never even reached their destination due to Viking dads making good on the threat to turn this longboat around.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Old-school transport and face that's unsheared, by this hipster, Saint Nick is revered. In honor of him, there's a new way to trim, with some ornaments clipped good to my...

ROSINSKY: Beard.

SAGAL: Yes, beard.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: More and more men are growing big, bushy lumberjack beards, which naturally means a new place to decorate for Christmas. Christmas ornaments for your beard have become so popular this holiday season that beardbaubles.com has completely sold out of beard baudles. Not to worry, you can make your own beard ornaments simply by eating a bowl of Lucky charms in a hurry.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Our falcons are very well-trained. And from coach class will gladly abstain. So take your small pups and lock them all up because our birds can now fly on a...

ROSINSKY: Airplane?

SAGAL: Yes - well - yes...

KURTIS: Yes.

SAGAL: ...Plane, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In what is great news for both falconers, people who participate in the royal sport of falconry, and really lazy falcons...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Falconers and the falcons will be welcomed on Lufthansa planes. This is to accommodate travelers from the Middle East where falconry is quite popular.

FERO: What kind of gods do we think we are to first build contraptions that can fly and then take nature's contraption that can fly and stick in ours and...

SAGAL: Well, I would think...

FERO: ...Send it on its way?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'm not a falcon, as you can tell...

FERO: Sure.

SAGAL: ...But I feel that a falcon would really enjoy it, probably, like, get up next to the window, right? - and watch the world going by sort of flapping its wings and going wee, I'm the fastest falcon ever.

(LAUGHTER)

FERO: It's like me on those moving walkways...

SAGAL: Exactly.

FERO: ...At the airport.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Lisa doing our quiz?

KURTIS: Would we expect any less from an editor at Highlight?

SAGAL: Never.

KURTIS: She got them all right.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, Lisa.

ROSINSKY: Thank you so much.

SAGAL: Thanks for playing our game, bye-bye.

(MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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