Limericks

Limericks

11:03am Jun 13, 2015

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Transcript

(APPLAUSE)

MIKE PESCA, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924, or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. And we have just added some more seats to our first-ever show at the beautiful Mann Center in Philadelphia, and that's on July 9. And be sure to check out How To Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian tell you how to make your cat the most beautiful cat in the world.

(LAUGHTER)

PESCA: Hello there. You're on WAIT, WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

CHRIS BROWN: Hey, I'm Chris Brown from Chapel Hill, N.C.

PESCA: How're you doing, Chris? What do you do there in Chapel Hill?

BROWN: I'm a student and I also have a video production company.

PESCA: And is it at the UNC-Chapel Hill?

BROWN: Yeah, the UNC, yeah...

(APPLAUSE)

BROWN: ...Carolina.

PESCA: Well, that's good. It sounds like you're a busy guy there. I want to welcome you to the show, Chris. Bill Kurtis is going to read three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you're a winner. And here now is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: The caffeine and crushed ice are a trappuccino. Our new drinks are just sugary pappuccinos. We blend and we stir-up 12 ounces of syrup. You'll get sugar shock drinking our...

BROWN: Frappuccinos?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Frappuccino it is.

(APPLAUSE)

PESCA: Frappuccino. Starbucks has unveiled its new Frappuccino summer menu, and it looks like what picnic ants would write if you asked them to invent a new food pyramid.

(LAUGHTER)

PESCA: Flavors include red velvet cake, cotton candy, caramel cocoa cluster, cinnamon roll, lemon bar and honey-nut clusters of heroin.

(LAUGHTER)

PESCA: The drinks are offered in sizes grande, venti and type-two diabete.

(LAUGHTER)

PESCA: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Dads don't want a Norm Mailer gift, nor oars from some old sailor's shift. On this Dada's Day-Day, give albums by Tay-Tay 'cause fathers sure love...

BROWN: Taylor Swift?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Taylor Swift. You are smart.

(APPLAUSE)

PESCA: Taylor Swift, indeed.

KURTIS: Very good.

PESCA: Thirteen-year-old girls aren't the only ones who love Taylor Swift. According to John Covach at the University of Rochester's Institute of Pop Music, Taylor is a big hit with dads too. Covach knows this because he interviewed a real dad - John Covach.

(LAUGHTER)

PESCA: When asked to assess the scholarship in question, John Covach's employer, the University of Rochester, said (singing) you are never, ever, ever getting back your tenure.

(LAUGHTER)

PESCA: And here now is the last limerick.

KURTIS: Of all ladies the Dalai is fond. He hopes karma will duly respond. Reborn in Tibet, he might be a brunette, but he thinks he'll come back as a...

BROWN: Lama?

(LAUGHTER)

PESCA: As a blonde.

BROWN: Blonde.

PESCA: He thinks he'll come back as a blonde. Traditionally, the Dalai Lama is reincarnated as young boy. But this time around, his Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama is threatening to come back as a, quote, "mischievous blonde woman." He told that to The Times of London. Supporters have already created a Facebook page for, quote, "the blonde Dalai Lama," and dads everywhere are eagerly awaiting the arrival of her Holiness Taylor Swift Lama.

(LAUGHTER)

PESCA: Bill, how did Chris do?

KURTIS: He still got two out of three. So you won, Chris. Good for you.

(APPLAUSE)

PESCA: Thank you Chris, goodbye.

BROWN: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER")

TAYLOR SWIFT: (Singing) We are never, ever, ever getting back together. We are never, ever, ever getting back together. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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