Limericks

Limericks

11:22am Sep 19, 2015

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Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you would like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the contact us link at our website. That's waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. And you can check out our sister podcast, "How To Do Everything." This week, Mike and Ian meow meow about bark bark, cluck cluck.

AMY DICKINSON: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

KATHERINE JOHNSON: Hi, this is Katherine Johnson calling from New Orleans, La.

SAGAL: Hey, Katherine, how are things in New Orleans?

JOHNSON: Oh, it's beautiful, hot, as usual.

SAGAL: As usual. What do you do there?

JOHNSON: I am a behavioral therapist. I work with kids with autism spectrum disorder.

SAGAL: Oh, well, that's very good. I'm glad you said that - you clarified that because I didn't think there was any work for therapists in New Orleans because nobody there I know wants to get better.

JOHNSON: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Katherine.

JOHNSON: Thank you.

SAGAL: You're going to play the game in which Bill Kurtis is going to perform for you three news-related limericks. Your job, of course, you've heard this, finish that limerick. Do it two times out of three, you'll win our prize. You ready to do it?

JOHNSON: Oh, yeah, I'm ready.

SAGAL: All right, here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Both heroes and villains give shape to a garment that's easy to drape. Let's have some men's fashion that brings out our passion. It's time that we brought back the...

JOHNSON: Cape.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Cape, it is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The cape, very good.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Do you crave the full body coverage of a trench coat but don't want to look like a flasher? Well, good news, the cape is making a comeback if Antonio Banderas has his way. He, of course, is known for playing Zorro and Puss in Boots. And now he wants to be Puss in Boots and a cape. He is actually going to go to fashion school and wants to resurrect the cape.

DICKINSON: OK, no man will ever wear a cape. I'm sorry.

PETER GROSZ: That is not true.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: I tell you.

ADAM BURKE: Slap.

GROSZ: I take that as an insult. Every man will wear a cape.

SAGAL: That is...

GROSZ: And women will fall at their feet.

BURKE: That is amazing. That is such a man move to want to learn the simplest garment to make.

GROSZ: Yes.

BURKE: It is a amount of fabric...

GROSZ: Right.

BURKE: ...That you put over your shoulders. Look what I've designed.

GROSZ: You take a sheet and you kind of cut it.

DICKINSON: But, like, what's special - what's special about this cape?

SAGAL: I'm quoting...

BURKE: Yeah, sure.

SAGAL: I'm quoting Mr. Banderas - for me, it's actually easier than a coat. You just walk into a place, and you just, boom, throw it off.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: His - he has explosive class.

BURKE: Is anyone else tired of the complication of a coat?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: This prime minister weathered attacks. But this recent vote gave me the ax. So when I resigned, I used the phone line. My notice was sent in by...

JOHNSON: Fax.

SAGAL: Yes, by fax.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good. People are not applauding 'cause they don't know what a fax is.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Things are different in Australia. The toilets flush counterclockwise, they're obsessed with the size of their knives, and the prime minister still uses a fax machine. This week, Aussie PM Tony Abbott skipped the face-to-face resignation and instead faxed his resignation letter to the governor general. It is possible, in fact, that Mr. Abbott resigned as many as 16 years ago because no one has even looked at the fax machine...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Since 1999.

BURKE: In his defense, the governor general's pager wasn't working.

GROSZ: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: The pope didn't give us a snub, y'all. Let's have a big drinking and grub haul. We will show who we are with a trek, bar to bar. We will mark the event with a...

JOHNSON: Pub crawl.

SAGAL: Pub crawl, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A pub crawl.

KURTIS: Smart you are, Katherine.

SAGAL: Pope Francis is visiting Philadelphia at the end of the month, and they are welcoming him in the most Philadelphia way possible, short of clubbing him in the knee and stealing his cassock. It's the Pope Crawl. Terrible Catholics, young and old, will hit 18 pubs, chugging Bud, Bud Light, Bud of Christ...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Because remember, if you can't remember it, you don't have to confess it.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Now, the pope...

GROSZ: It's like...

DICKINSON: He can wear a cape.

BURKE: That's the guy that can wear a cape.

DICKINSON: He can wear a cape. He's all about it.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Katherine do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Perfect, 3 and 0.

SAGAL: That's very good. Well done, Katherine.

KURTIS: Almost never.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

JOHNSON: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: Huge, it's huge.

SAGAL: Thank you, Katherine, and let the good times roll.

JOHNSON: Thank you. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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